Praise Jesus and Pass the Lighter Fluid!

The American Family Association and Chick-fil-A are winning! Money donated by large US Christian entities to African countries like Uganda are going to good use promoting Christian Family values like legally executing gays in the streets. These nice Christians love the sinner but hate the sin as they force feed kerosene to the homos, beat them, sodomize them with sticks, glue their rectums shut, dowse them in gasoline and light them on fire in public streets so that all the children can see what happens when you are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.

This demonstration of God’s love is prescribed by the Bible and is for their own good, according to the local church elders and law-makers. “The only way into heaven is through the BLOOD of Jesus, not through his anus”, says American Christian Family Association minister Umbuktu Olamide McTavish. “Love and family values are central to God’s tough-love approach in Africa”, which McTavish says is funded by large donations from American Christians. Praise Jesus and pass the lighter fluid! (void where prohibited)

#ChickFilA #FamilyValues

ChristianFamilyValues

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48 Responses to Praise Jesus and Pass the Lighter Fluid!

  1. Bill Gram says:

    Personally, I think they have more than one issue…

  2. I mean the site url under it seems pretty sketchy

  3. Bill Gram says:

    Muslims and Christians are finally working together for a common cause! Praise Jesus!

  4. Blake Tucker says:

    This is some fucked up shit. For Christ? Lol fuck off you zealots

  5. Those are not christians those are hateful BASTARDS! who don’t know Christ. This Christian Terrorism!

    • Bill Gram says:

      How dare you refer to following the Bible’s instructions as terrorism! Stop oppressing Christians with your intolerance. Terrorism is something middle easterners would do and Jesus doesn’t support middle easterners! Americans (and foreigners who use US money to kill gays) are God’s chosen people, so their actions are never wrong (Romans 8:33). Praise Jesus!

  6. Leon S. Rae says:

    Next thing you know thy are gonna start killing people for being straight ..the world’s going to shit and we don’t know it

  7. Mikey Sharp says:

    God wouldn’t want millions slaughtered. They are still his children, religion has too much power. Not fucking cool at all.

    • Bill Gram says:

      You’re right; they are still his children. And God loves His children as He slaughters them by the millions (2,476,633 to be exact). It makes God sad to kill His children. Why do they insist on making God do that to them? Do they hate God so much they want Him to kill them? It made God sad to destroy everyone in a great flood or to mercilessly torture and slaughter all inhabitants of various cities throughout Biblical history. It makes Him sad that they are now burning in eternal torture. he’s sad because He loves them so much. He is so merciful in His love. Praise Jesus!

  8. I prefer violence than sympathy

  9. Ryan Hubbard says:

    Dan Carter read this article

  10. Jacob Askins says:

    Aj Cruse Anthony Mercurio

  11. Fuck you guys, you’re worse than the westboro baptist church. If there was a god, which there isn’t, he would send you to hell for killing his children. Fucking nazis, fuck you guys and go suck Jesus’s black dick

  12. Zakk King says:

    Uhh…. lol I dont even know where to start… This is absolutely ignorant… Yall mother fuckers make Satan seem like a Saint…

  13. Zakk King says:

    Lucas Heron Get a load of these fucks?

  14. Izaak Rayner says:

    Right i’m a christian but no one deserves this.What the fuck is wrong with people!?Jesus wouldn’t want this u sick fucks!

  15. Legal killing of gays…what’s next? Legally raping the fear of God into kids? What a joke

  16. What the hell did i just read??

  17. ……….whoever agrees with this article also agrees with taking human rights bending them over and fucking them up the arse

  18. Christians (not ALL of them) are the fucking biggest religious hypocrits in the world, always exaggerating the bible and believing their perspective of the bible is what God wants. Yous aint God, just shut up and drink some holy water, y’all need it to for an amen

  19. Vailan Gibbs says:

    Look man this is messed up. Obviously this isn’t right. I’m a Christian and I know the power of God and has felt his love. These “Christians” are taking this to the extreme and they are wrong. I can attest to the fact that God loves everyone and does not want this for His children. This is not what God or the bible is commanding us to do! Paul writes constantly to many churches in love and is always boating about God’s love. Don’t you see? Love love love. This isn’t love. Christians aren’t supposed to act like this. People like that taint Christianity. This is wrong and these guys aren’t getting the message that God loves us.

    • Love and killing go hand in hand in the the Bible. God loved all 2,476,633 of the people He killed in the Bible and everyone who has died by His instructions since (e.g. Inquisition, Crusades, worldwide gay death sentences). I’m sorry you don’t support God’s instruction for man exactly as it’s written in scripture. We’ll pray for you. Praise Jesus!

  20. Vanessa Frei says:

    And this is the reason why religion is bullshit

  21. Doin the lawds work…hahaha!!!…..

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