Praise Jesus! The US Supreme Court has ruled (Hobby Lobby case) that slavery is legal as long as one’s religion supports it. Mormons are now legally enslaving their children, per their religious beliefs, and successfully defending it in court.
That’s good news for Mormons, but what about those of us who are going to heaven? If fake Christians can have slaves, real Christians can too! The Bible supports slavery in Leviticus 25:44-46, Exodus 21:2-11, Ephesians 6:5, 1 Timothy 6:1-2, and Luke 12:47-48 which means Christians can legally own slaves again, per the Supreme Court ruling!
Thank you Jesus and thank you Mormons with your Bible fan-fiction! Mormons knew all along that Mexican slave labor still costs a little money, but real slaves are FREE! Those magic underwear lovers are almost as good at scheming as the Jews, and this time it benefits us ALL. Praise Jesus and pass the chains! Romney for president! #SlaveryForJesus #HobbyLobby
Our future president lines up his little cotton pickers.
Justices Alito, Scalia, Kennedy and Roberts have worked hard to bring Christian values back to the US Supreme Court, and now that the SCOTUS legalizes slavery, we can rest assured they will be successful in carrying out God’s mission!
Adolf Hitler was Catholic. He enjoyed a Catholic baptism, a confirmation and probably a little Catholic style boy rape. He attended monastery school, never left the Catholic church and was never excommunicated during his reign. Hitler mandated the Pope’s Catholic lessons in German schools. The Catholics even gave Hitler VETO power over their choices of Bishops. In Berlin (1936), Hitler said, “Providence has caused me to be Catholic, and I know therefore how to handle this Church.”
The Bible outlaws Catholicism in Leviticus 19:4, Deuteronomy 7:25-26, Ezekiel 8:5-18, and also in any verses against boy rape. The Catholic church aggressively supported Hitler throughout his reign, but then reversed course when he died, beginning a propaganda campaign pretending Hitler was “atheist”. Their propaganda machine still churns today, despite choosing a Nazi pope in 2005 who looked exactly like a robotic boy-raping machine. Also, they totally boy-raped. A lot. We can’t stress that last one enough. Just a great big pile of sweaty boy rape was going on. Praise Jesus! #southernbaptistconvention #hobbylobby
The most reviled thrash album of 2014 – Killing For Christ “The Hordes” – is now free to download at http://bit.ly/KillingForChrist
Joseph Williams is a victim of the anti-Christian system. Mr. Williams will serve time in prison, and be released when he is 35 years old, too old to ever enjoy life. His crime? Following God’s instructions as they are written in the Bible.
According to Mr. Williams, he followed God’s teachings in Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:24-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:9-10, Jude 1:7-8, and other scriptures of the Bible when he hit a homosexual on the head with a hammer as he lay sleeping in his pink bed of sin. The gay survived his little bump on the head and is just fine (seen smiling gayly in the photo below).
Without any charges against the gay, he remains free. Mr. Williams, on the other hand, has been attacked for being Christian by the courts and sentenced to live out the rest of his useful life behind bars, not to be released until he is an elderly 35 year old man. Where is the justice in persecuting Christians while rewarding evil? Where is the justice for God? #JusticeForJesus #ChickFilA
Liberty Foundation Gospel Ministries teaches us that witches are real and they are harming our children! God teaches us (Exodus 22:18) that witches should be put to death immediately, although today usually witch children are simply thrown out of their Christian families into the streets.
In God’s chosen country (USA) we were able to eradicate many witches during our formative years, however witches are hurting Christians in African countries every day. This is why Bibles are more critically needed than food or medicine in most third world countries!
Best selling Christian author and prominent Christian leader Helen Ukpabio stars in the African blockbuster film End of the Wicked in which she states, “If a child under the age of two screams in the night, cries and is always feverish with deteriorating health, he or she is a servant of Satan.” Praise God!
witches are hurting Christians
Goodly Christians have a lot to learn from the Muslimists. They invented the “Religion of Peace” concept and have have perfected it over the years. When the Islams peacefully behead a reporter, they do it out of the kindness of their hearts. You can see this in the innocent playfulness of their children at the execution celebration. Family is so important in their community.
Deuteronomy 17:3-5 teaches us how to treat those who accidentally worship the wrong prophet. As a good Christian, we do not want to offend them or taunt them for worshiping an erroneous deity, but rather celebrate our numerous similarities:
- We both relax with good old fashioned barbecues (everyone loves pork ribs)
- Our books command us to legally execute people who offend our God (pretty sure they stole that from us, though)
- We both enjoy a good bubble bath (Right? They take baths don’t they? Ok, well they would enjoy bubbles if they took baths, I’m sure.)
Playful children at the family beheading festival
We also both want the U.S. to have a president who will let us legally imprison and execute those who disagree with us. See? We’re both oppressed minorities! We even wrote a nice hymn about it called “Oppressors” (from the free album below). So, let’s be tolerant of all the Islam arabs and show them God’s love, despite their many flaws! Praise God!
The most reviled thrash album of 2014 – Killing For Christ “The Hordes” – is now free to download at http://bit.ly/TheHordes
Good is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. What happens when you don’t thank him for your food? He’s reminds you of your manners. God loves His children and will kill them when he is displeased (Hosea 9:11-16). When you displease God, you are killing His children. Why do you want to kill God’s children?
Don’t think you can fix it now. Too late, sinner. To help remind you not to interfere with God’s plan for starving babies, your donations to God’s chosen charities will be used to pay top dollar to their staff while Bibles and ammunition are sent to Central Africa instead of food. Feed The Children’s CEO made $800,000 on his way out the door last year. Children’s Charity Fund funded several hundred thousand fun dollars to each of their top execs while Christian policy makers The Heritage Foundation paid their president $1,172,321.00 for a year’s worth of helping those in need. Praise God!
The next time they pass the plate for your love offering, dig deep because God’s chosen leaders are a little pricey and He’s running a little short this month. And don’t worry; we’ll make sure none of that cash will go to those who have displeased God!
Praise God! This nice Christian family blesses their child with God’s love when he comes out as gay. After he reveals his lispy “secret”, his hidden phone records his family telling him to move out and be homeless or choose to not be gay. Easy choice, right? Not for someone possessed by Satan! Praise God, the family immediately rebuked the boy. They showed great restraint in not executing him immediately for his sins. The Bible prescribes death as punishment for turning his back on God (2 Chronicles 15:12-13), choosing to be a gay (Leviticus 20:13) and disrespecting his parents with his shameful choices (Proverbs 20:20). In the video, it sounds like he got a little handsy with his father, which is also a killin’ (Exodus 21:15).
The family’s leniency on him will not go unpunished, however. Because they refused to execute the boy as the Bible commands, God will curse them (Jeremiah 48:10) as is His will. Praise Jesus! To be fair, though, it would have been a sin to execute him if it were against their local laws (Romans 13:1-7), but sins can just be washed away with a prayer afterwards, so I’m not really sure what their issue was. Are they afraid to go to prison for Jesus? That’s a little disrespectful to the Lord if you ask me. They must have made that boy gay by being such pansies with God’s instructions! Praise Jesus!
Muslimists don’t have many hymns about love, so we wrote them one. It’s called “Homohammed” and (as always) it’s free: http://bit.ly/homohammed
Not only did the Prophet Mohammed have a 6 year old wife (Aisha), he also had a gay lover named Zahir (ref: Sunan al-Bayhaqi and Sunan Abu Dawud). Mr. Mohammed’s love for men and kiddies is well documented in Muslim holy texts, so why do Muslims become so upset when asked about it? If Mohammed did it, doesn’t that make it OK? Perhaps Islamists think their books are embarrassing or inaccurate. Either way, Christians agree.
Jesus loves our repressed Islamist neighbors just as He loves everyone else who burns in hell for all eternity. Their condemnation to the deepest pits of Satan’s sin sauna do not diminish God’s love for the hell-bound heathens. He loves them ever so much as they are slow roasted to a crispy, screaming mass of boiling black scabs. Praise Jesus!
Visual approximation of Zahir kissing Mohammed (mocking Jesus with a thorny hat).
Posted in Glory!, Music, Sin
Not like it’s a competition or anything, but Satan sucks at killing people. The Bible tallies his kills at just 10 people. God’s confirmed kills are well over two million. So why do the wannabe “pop Christians” keep insisting God is some happy, fluffy gentle grandpa? He’s more like a grizzled Israeli special forces vet with ALL of his army’s kills. Plus the kills of other armies too.
God wins! He made the game, made the players, wrote the rules, keeps the score, and decides everyone’s fates through His divine plan for everything. How dumb would it be if he lost? Totally dumb, that’s how dumb.